How To Tell If Your Relationship Is “Disconnected”... And What To
"Do About It"
"Do About It"
*MKILETEWA HAPA NA FLORA LYIMO DESIGNER*
" FROM INBOX"
Chances are, you can relate to my feelings of frustration and anger when my relationship with my husband was falling apart.
If so, then odds are you’re noticing that the following things are happening with your man right now, or have been happening in the recent past:
#1: The “Romance” is Dead"
Remember when he whispered how much he loved you in your ear?
When he brought you flowers, remembered your favorite foods, called you to say “Hi” in the middle of the day?
What happened to romance? Now when you see him, he barely grunts hello, and you feel like he’s just going through the motions.
And when you spend time together, you have the feeling that he’s not fully there. That he may “love” you, but isn’t IN LOVE with you.
His touch is different.
When he holds you and kisses you he seems to be hanging back, almost as if his heart is closing up.
He hardly ever looks deeply into your eyes anymore, and conversation seems so superficial, instead of the personal, playful and romantic talks you used to have.
You’ve been telling yourself this is just a temporary thing, but you can’t help feeling more and more awful as you realize something else that’s going wrong...
#2 – He’s less available and less interested"
Not only do you feel the romance has completely disappeared, but you think the man you were once CRAZY about has completely changed.
Where he was once passionate, calling you all the time, making plans, affectionate, and attentive...
He’s suddenly turned into a cold fish.
He calls less.
He makes dates at the last minute, or not at all.
He makes dates at the last minute, or not at all.
He initiates sex less often.
He seems to be paying attention to other women.
He never asks you about your day, or how you are or how you’re feeling.
He’s hardly ever available to spend time with you. He seems to be “busy” all the time.
He gets irritated VERY easily, and you’re always worried about “setting him off.”
No matter what you do, how sweet you are, how interested you act... he just gets more and more distant!
This can be so utterly frustrating that you just want to scream ALL THE TIME.
Worst of all... you feel powerless and confused, and you want the old “him” back.
You used to be so happy, and now...
#3: You Feel Anxious, Miserable and Even Depressed All the Time"
Because he’s been so distant, and because you can’t seem to “please” him like you used to, you’re constantly worried that you will drive him further and further away.
And those fears and anxieties make it impossible for you to be comfortable around him.
What if you say or do the wrong thing?
What if he is bored by you?
What if he leaves you once and for all?
You feel paralyzed by your fear and anger, and then even more tormented by guilt over everything that’s going on in your head.
All of this turns into a kind of “vicious cycle” where the worse you feel, the worse he responds, and the worse you feel... and on and on it goes as your relationship spirals downwards.
As he grows more distant, you try to bring him back by moving closer, but that only seems to work for a moment. He’s happy to take what you have to give – backrubs, meals, running errands, listening to him – but then as soon as he’s had enough, he goes away again emotionally.
Everything else in his life seems more important to him- from his friends to his work.
You start feeling afraid there’s another woman in his life, and panic sets in.
You try to talk about it with him, but that makes everything worse – every little word you say turns into a big argument, and soon you’re either fighting all the time, or you’re stuffing your real feelings down so deep inside you that you can barely feel ANYTHING.
It’s almost as though there never was any fun between you – now there’s only this horrible irritation and anger and upset and distance.
No comments:
Post a Comment