- Unajua unaweza kuwa na mahusiano na mtu unayempenda sana ila yeye hakupendi kama vile umpendavyo lakini anashindwa kukwambia kuwa "sikupendi".
Unawakati mzuri sana wa kumtambua mtu ambaye hakupendi na pia kumtambua anayekupenda. Vilevile kukubaliana na hali halisi.
Watu wengi hawapendi kutambua kwamba mtu anayempenda yeye hampendi, kwasababu ...ni maumivu makubwa sana moyoni. Unapokuwa kwenye mahusiano na mtu huyo nae inamuwia vigumu kukwambia "sikupendi" hufanya hivi katika kuzihurumia hisia zako juu yake.
MTU AMBAYE HAKUPENDI KWA DHATI:
==> Anapokuwa nawe inamuwia vigumu sana kukwambia neno NAKUPENDA mara kwa mara, utajikuta wewe ndio unakuwa mtumwa kwake kwa kumwambia nakupenda kila mara.
Majibu yake baada ya neno hilo, mara nyingi atakwambia asante kwa kunipenda basi, na akikuhurumia sana atakwambia nakupenda pia ili kukuridhisha wewe na moyo wako.
==> Utajikuta una mawazo sana juu yake na kujiuliza "hivi kweli mtu huyu ananipenda?"
Utajaribu kumuuliza, "je unanipenda?"
Jibu lake kwanza litafikiriwa sana, sababu ya kufanya hivyo ni kwa vile anatambua kwamba hakupendi sasa kukwambia ukweli wa swali lako anahisi utaumia, kwahiyo baada ya swali hilo anaweza kukuuliza swali na wewe "kwani unaonaje?" kwavile unampenda sana utamjibu, "naona kuwa unanipenda" naye atakwambia "basi ndio hivyo".
Mara nyingine baada ya wewe kumuuliza swali kuwa je anakupenda kweli, atakujibu "ukweli unaujua ila kwanini unapenda kuniuliza swali hilo kila mara?" kama umeshaingiza dosari juu ya upendo wake utajikuta unamuuliza "ukweli upi?" naye atakujibu "kuwa nakupenda", hapo utajikuta umepata furaha kugundua kuwa anakupenda kumbe mwenzio amekuhurumia tu.
==> Huwa hajali mambo yako unayomwambia, ukimueleza muda huu badae anajifanya kusahau ili tu akupotezee mueleleo.
==> Unapopanga kukutana nae huwa ni mtu asiyeishiwa na sababu za kushindwa kufika, huwa na aibu ya kukutambulisha kwa watu.
Unaweza kufika nae mahali akakwambia kuwa "kuna watu wanafahamiana na mama/baba mahali hapa kwahiyo tusiongozane karibu", hapo anaweza yeye akatangulia mbele au kukuacha wewe utangulie.
==> Hufanya tabasamu la kuigiza au kicheko cha kejeli ili wewe uridhike kwamba anafurahishwa na uwepo wako kwake.
===> Wakati mwingine inampasa mtu kujitambua na kumpa uhuru huyo umpendaye aweze kuamua mwenyewe labda kuendelea na wewe au kumfata anayempenda yeye.
Cha muhimu ni kuwa using'ang'anie mahusiano ambayo yanayoumiza moyo kwani yanaweza pasua moyo wako kwa mawazo.
MTU ANAYEKUPENDA KWA DHATI:
==> Hachoki kukwambia NAKUPENDA, kwani anajisikia raha sana pale atamkapo neno hilo juu yako kwahiyo unaweza ukawa kama wimbo wake kwako.
==> Anajivunia kuwa na wewe na atapenda kukupa sifa nzuri kila mara, yani Hachoki kukusifia. Atakushauri pale unapokosea ili uwe katika njia nzuri.
Unaponuna atajua cha kufanya ili wewe ufurahi na kurudi kwenye hali ya kawaida.
==> Hachoki kukuombea mema na kukutakia mafanikio.
==> Atapenda kukueleza ukweli kila mara ili uweze kujenga uaminifu na imani juu yake.
==> Wewe utakuwa ni mtu muhimu sana katika maisha yake, atakuthamini na kukujali. Tatizo lako litakuwa sawa na tatizo lake, atakupa ushauri bila kuchoka.
==> Kabla ya kumuuliza swali kuwa "je unanipenda?" atakuwa ameshakujibu tena kwa hisia nzito kuwa "nakupenda sana mpenzi wangu".
==> Hatokuonea aibu kukutambulisha kwa watu kuwa wewe ndiye mpenzi wake, kwakuwa wewe ndiye furaha yake.
====> Thamani yako ni kubwa sana kwake, anakuona mpya kila siku na hachoki kuvutiwa na wewe. Anakupenda kwa kumaanisha na si kukupenda kimazoea tu.
Neno NAKUPENDA litamtoka moyoni na ataridhihirisha kwa kinywa chake. Mtambue mtu huyu kuwa anakupenda kwa dhati.
NB:
Hakuna aliyekamilika, kila mtu ana kasoro na mapungufu yake.
Si vyema kutumia mapungufu ya mwenzio kama fimbo katika mapenzi, cha muhimu ni kumuelimisha na kumuelekeza ili muweze kwenda sambamba.
Nadhani baadhi ya maswali ya wadau yatakuwa yamejibiwa na hiyo mada.
Kama kuna nyongeza au swali lolote kuhusiana na hiyo mada tuambiane hapa na kupatiana majibu hapa hapa wadau.
By, Atuganile Mwakalile.
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