* YOU BEEN SNAP* The Royals are philistines, the Queen doesn’t listen and Charles has a laugh like a pig’s snore: Martin Amis attacks the monarchy"

BY FLORA LYIMO DESIGNER*

Controversial: Martin Amis said the royal wedding is a cynical attempt to maintain the status quo and that the Royals are courting publicity for their own ends

One of Britain’s most famous novelists has launched a scathing attack on the Royal Family, calling them philistines.
Martin Amis portrays the Queen as a woman who never listens and says Prince Charles has ‘a pig’s snore’.
The author of bestsellers like The Rachel Papers and Money, speaking to French magazine Le Nouvel Observateur, also rounds on the Royal Wedding.
He suggested it is a cynical attempt to maintain the status quo and that the Royals are courting publicity for their own ends.
‘There’s indeed something which doesn’t work in this story, says Amis, referring to the upcoming nuptials on April 29th.
‘One can’t, in the era of media supremacy, make one's children go through everything which a wedding like this entails: not only the loss of one’s private life; but also the sacrifice of oneself pure and simple.
‘The royal family is so spied upon, so scrutinized by the media that the life of these children becomes quite unbearable.’
Amis claimed both William and Harry could have both avoid the international circus surrounding their royal status if they remained single.
‘Harry and William rebelled some eight or nine years ago and they effectively let people know that they weren’t going to sacrifice their lives anymore for the crown.

‘They were probably told that it’s the oldest institution in Europe and that they had to preserve it by all means possible. The princes finally gave in. ‘But how can we, today, ask for so much from a human being?’

Royal blast: Amis said the Queen doesn't listen to what you say while Prince Charles, right, laughs like a pig's snore

Asked if other people will support the wedding with sincerity, Amis replies: ‘Without doubt. The atmosphere is going to be irrational, very British in a sense.
‘Usually, when the crowd descends on the street it’s to find windows to break. Now, the crowd will be standing outside passively. It’s difficult not to be moved by this enthusiasm. It’s difficult not to think about it in a positive way.
‘Without counting that, in the crowd, there will be Pakistani immigrants, Africans - the most enthusiastic perhaps. It’ certainly a good thing as far as the plan for social integration is concerned.’
The latest edition of Le Nouvel Observateur is devoted to Britain, and the Royal Wedding, with a colour picture of William and Kate on the front.
But Amis says: ‘I’ve met the Queen, indeed, along with other writers on I don’t know which occasions anymore.

Young lovers: Amis claimed both William and Harry could have both avoid the international circus surrounding their royal status if they remained single

‘The problem is that the Queen doesn’t listen to what you say to her because she is not supposed to understand the remarks that one makes to her.’
Referring to his late father, the Lucky Jim author Kingsley Amis, Amis says: ‘Still, I allowed myself to say impetuously when she greeted me: 'You knighted my father.
‘Her only reaction was to look far away, vaguely staring at a painting on the wall. That’s all. Another time, I had a lunch with the Duke of Edinburgh. He was surprised by my profession: Oh, you’re a writer.’

'We’ve had dinner together twice, a small gathering, four or five people. He was still married to Diana, but he never mentioned her name'

Amis on Prince Charles

Amis is particularly critical of Prince Charles for his condemnation of 'Satanic Verses', Salman Rushdie's book which led to a death threat being issued against him by Iran because it insulted Islam.
Referring to the Prince, Amis says: ‘We’ve had dinner together twice, a small gathering, four or five people. He was still married to Diana, but he never mentioned her name.
‘(Charles is) charming, he has an extraordinary laugh, like a pig’s snore. I remember quite a memorable conversation with him about Salman Rushdie, just after the fatwa, in 1989. He was very anti-Rushdie. I asked why. (Charles) replied: “I’m sorry, but when someone insults the profound beliefs of a people.
‘He always speaks like that, very knowledgeable. And he is very sensitive on religious issues, of any kind, because the King of England is supposed to protect the faith.
‘I told him what I thought: that a novel is not a stance. It doesn’t insult anyone. It asserts nothing.
‘A novel is a game, an activity of the spirit. And Rushdies book was targeted by Ayatollah Khomeini not so much because it was shocking, but because it gave new enthusiasm to the Islamic revolution.
Asked directly what he thinks of the Royals in general, Amis replies: ‘They are philistines.’
He added: ‘As for the British aristocracy, its pathetic. All that snobbery is ridiculous today.’